A Bigger What, Daddy?
by biggest-twilight-fan
Summary: Post-Breaking Dawn, winter-time fluff. BellaxEdwardxRenesmee. Add some sex jokes from Emmett and it's a great tale! Hell, I don't know. Just read, and I'll love you forever. Odd disclaimer awaits. One-shot. I think it's funny, you might not. FLUFF! :


** So, hello world of Fanfiction, I haven't seen you in a while, in the way of posting stories, that is. I just want to write this bit of fluff as a tribute to Edward's 109th Birthday! Yes, yes, I know, I failed at posting it this time; Sue me. Sorry if this comes off as a bit incoherent, it's almost 4 am and I get just a wittle **motions tininess with fingers** bit crazy around this time of night. I want this to be special, so I'm going to try my hardest to make this some of my best work. I'll be the first person to say that my other two stories aren't too great; I sucked at writing fanfics back then. So, I'm going to hope to the extremes that this is better. Just to let you know, Renesmee is going to have more of a little kid mentality in this than she does in the book. I like it better that way. Don't like that, don't read. (:**

** Disclaimer:**

** Me: Hey, Steph, how's it going?**

** Stephenie: Um, who are you and how did you just teleport into my house?**

** Me: *ignores her question* Workin' on a little, Midnight Sun, perhaps? Huh, huh? *nudges Steph playfully***

** Stephenie: *gives me psycho-girl look and scoots away slowly* Yes, but you can't see! **

** Me: *stomps foot* Why not?**

** **Jake walks it****

** Jake: Did you seriously just stomp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV?**

** Me: **Gasps** Jake, that's the line! The line you said in Eclipse! Say more lines!**

** Jake: Can't. Bells wanted me to do something with her and Nessie. **walks out of room****

** Stephenie: Yeah, and I have to…go help him! **leaves room****

** Me: I'm all alone now. **cries** Guess that's what I get for not owning Twilight.**

** Roflllll. (:**

** Okay, sorry guys. Enjoy! Warning: FLUFFY ONE-SHOT**

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Her picturesque figure stands motionless by the window, her smile portraying love and warmth toward her child, but her eyes almost over-brimmed with the fear that her innocence will be stripped from her little girl much too soon. She watches carefully as Renesmee helps a smiling Jacob add stereotypical fangs to her "vampire snowman". She can see the humor shining in Jake's eyes; no doubt he's enjoying the satire of the situation, considering the fact that all eight vampires in the encroaching house are void of fangs.

"She's one of a kind, isn't she?" Silken arms wrap themselves around her waist from behind, trapping her in his ever-present aura of sincerity and passion. He rests his head upon her's, his lips pressing a quick kiss to her hair. Looking out the frothy window, he smiles gently at the scene playing before him.

"Truly," she says, a shaky laugh escaping her lips.

"What are you thinking?" Edward questions. He grasps her hands in his, intertwining their fingers. _If she let her guard down more often, I wouldn't have to ask, but it's what she prefers…_

Having not yet fully mastered the flexibility of her shield, she has to close her eyes and put forth the utmost concentration to release it from herself. As the shield puts its reddened drapery elsewhere, her mind becomes vulnerable to her husband's in the fraction of a second. She thinks of Renesmee, how quickly she out-grows her clothes, how more and more everyday she favors O negative over human food, how sickeningly _fast _time goes by…

"Ah," Edward hums above her in understanding. "She can't be little forever, love," he explains gently.

"She can't have a normal childhood, either," she huffs, her expression growing more remorseful as her gaze follows her daughter toddles in the snow drifts with Jacob's hand clutched in her own.

"She can have a happy one," he counters.

"How can she not? Everyone loves her," Bella agrees. A few seconds of silence passed before she voiced another dilemma. "She can't go to school."

"We'll home-school her. And when we're not able, Esme would be more than happy to," he says tenderly, trying to ease the negativity away from her mood. _Of course, _Edward hears Esme think maternally over a set over a set of blue prints from upstairs. Bella looks down and scowls, unaware of Esme's silent promise.

"She won't have any friends…she _doesn't _have any friends." The realization hits home and her heart pangs with anguish. Was there anyway she could lead a somewhat normal life? A _human _life?

"Hey!" Emmett's voice booms from the second floor. He bounds down the stairs to stand next to the couple.

"I'm Nessie's friend!" He objects. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, raising his eyebrows as he waits for a response.

Bella laughs, Emmett's care-free nature slightly raising her spirits. "Emmett, you don't count. Sorry." Edward shakes with laughter behind her, trying to cover it up by hiding his face in her hair.

Emmett frowns and glares, his gaze flickering back and forth between the faces of his brother and recently acquired sister. Bella meets his gaze and smiles sheepishly.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'm going outside to spar with Jasper. You wanna come Edward? I know you two have nothing better to do..." He trails off, looking into space with a smug grin. Edward's laughter stops at once and low growl emerged from deep within his chest.

"For the last time! You promised: No. More. Sex. Jokes," Bella says sternly, her newborn body unintentionally lowering into a slight crouch. Emmett just threw his head back as his laughter booms through the house, shaking the foundation of it.

"Man, Bella, your vampire reactions are almost as funny as your human ones. Besides I promised _you _no more sex jokes, _that _joke was specified for Eddie-boy," he explains unrepentantly. Edward grumbles about the loathed nick-name.

"No," she corrected. "You promised me no more jokes about _my _sex-life, which Edward is very much a part of. Therefore, that joke was out of line." She smiles and raises her eyebrows at the aloof Emmett still lounging against the wall, his arrogant expression soon morphing into annoyance.

"You guys are no fun," he grumbles, turning away and begins walking out the front door, allowing a flood of cold air to flood into the room. On his way out, Jake chases Renesmee through the front door. Emmett stops at the lip of the threshold and turns around.

"Hey, Jacob, You wanna spar with Jasper and me?" He asks hopefully. Edward wasn't the only one of the Cullens who had taken liking to Jacob since the Volturi incident. Only Rosalie remained hostile.

"No thanks, I gotta head up to the rez in a few and talk to Sam," he says, smiling swiftly. Emmett sighs, shakes his head, and leaves to accompany Jasper in the surrounding forest.

Without a word Renesmee takes Bella's left hand and Edward's right, and begins pulling them towards the door. Though she is silent, her thoughts are bubbling with the excitement of her first snowman, or "snowpire", as she likes to call it. Through her physical touch, Renesmee's power penetrates Bella's shield and opens the realm to her thoughts.

_ Snowpire! Snowpire! Jakey and I built a snowpire of Emmett!_

Bella and Edward exchange a look of humor and confusion at their daughter's prospect. She continues dragging them through the snow to the middle of the yard where a very child-like snow sculpture stands surrounded in layers of sparkling snow. Jacob trails behind quietly with a lips twitched up into a small smile of love and dedication for the little girl.

"Come on! I know you two can walk faster than this!" Renesmee complains innocently. Bella and Edward chuckle at their daughter's oppressive, yet always dwindling youth. They stop a few feet away from the snowpire and take in his appearance. His eyes are made of raisins, his nose a carrot, and his fangs composed of two pieces of candy-corn. His arms were made of twigs.

"What possessed you to believe this looks like Emmett, darling?" Edward questions through his laughter. Bella kept giggling at his side, burying her face in Edward's shoulder. Jake's smile grows wider.

"Because it does! Silly Daddy," Nessie giggles, rolling her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Edward just throws his head back and laughs louder.

"What do you think of it, Momma?"

"It's beautiful, sweetheart. It looks just like him," she says, her voice muffled by Edward's shirt. She pats Nessie's hair affectionately. Jake snickers behind them despite himself.

Jasper and Emmett emerge from the forest then, Jasper shaking his head to clear it of the icy slush that it had collected while wrestling. Jasper picks up on the mood immediately, confused at the elation enveloping the group.

"What's so funny?" Emmett asks. He glances at the snowpire.

"It's you, Emmett!" Renesmee says cheerily. Jasper, unable to contain his own emotions and being influenced by those around him, burst into laughter, glancing back and forth between Emmett and the snowpire.

"What? Kid, I think you're confused," he bends down and lifts Renesmee into his arms. "My arms are _not _that skinny. And look," he opens his mouth wider. "No fangs! So it can't be me."

"No," Jake disagrees, bending over with laughter. "I'm pretty sure that's you." Renesmee nodded eagerly in agreement.

Emmett scowled bitterly at Jacob and then turned back to Nessie.

"Why'd you do this to me, kid?" He asked playfully, half-mocking, half-serious, and poked her tummy.

"Because I love you, silly!" Emmett's face softens under the force of her chocolate-brown eyes as she kisses his cheek delicately. He looks up and fixes his eyes on Edward and Bella.

"This is your fault. Why'd you guys have to have such a cute kid?" Edward just shook his head and continued his chortling.

"I wouldn't be laughing, Edward. Need I remind you I'm the one with the bigger di -"

"Emmett!" Edward interrupts scornfully and gestures towards the child in his arms.

"A bigger what, Daddy?"

"Come on, Nessie, I think it's time to hunt. We can leave Emmett here to admire your artwork," Bella says. Emmett sets Nessie down on her feet after which she jumped happily into Bella's arms. The familiar warmth of her skin was over-whelming as it radiated from her small body. Bella tosses her gently on her back and grabs Edward's hand as the prepare to run to their usual hunting spot.

"That was crossing the line, Emmett. When I get home, you better find a place to hide," she mutters angrily under her breath as she brushes past him. Emmett laughs.

"Bring it on, I dare you," he says mockingly. But Bella ignores him. The only thing in her thoughts now as she walks through the flourish of brilliant snowflakes and towards the descending sun are spending time with her husband and daughter, and savoring the memories she will cherish in all of its timelessness; Forever.

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** So, for those of you who didn't read my rambling at the top, go read it now! I love that disclaimer, I want people to read it! Lol. That story didn't turn out the way I thought it was going...at all, but it flowed like that so it's okay. I know, I know, the ending was beyond corny but I thought it was cute. I'm writing another story tonight or tomorrow, and it's going to be a parody type thing so look out for that. I'm so pumped to write it! Fuck yeah! I feel so accomplished; I haven't posted a story in ages. Okay, enough of my talking, I'll shut up now!**

** I love you all! Reviews are much appreciated. ;D**


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